The problem with any kind of mental disorder - the kind of thing that grief is especially good at kick starting - is that it’s not visible, not tangible, it’s misunderstood and misdiagnosed and treatment options are scary. Not only that - there’s a stigma around it - a level of shame - that we’re going to be forever tainted and mistrusted and god forbid that anyone should find out.
And so we lie.
We lie to ourselves about where we’re at.
We lie to our spouses.
We lie to our friends and colleagues and so the spiral starts:
Deadlines get missed - we find ourselves constantly apologizing - our self esteem and self image is reflected in our failure and so we numb ourselves with whatever tool is available. This of course creates further carnage and the whole thing comes tumbling down in a pool of self hatred and broken promises.
I’ve been listening to this track all month - like a lot of songs on the list, it’s the authenticity and the honesty of the delivery that resonates. As Richie put it when he submitted the track:
“This song is about learning to be genuine. Letting people know exactly where you are, so they can genuinely love who you actually are, and a tribute to those who stuck with me. Oh- and learning how to quit fuckin’ lying.”
And that’s the thing isn’t it - to quit fucking lying?
While “When I Lie” might speak to the end result of bad behavior - one little white lie leading to another one and another one until you’ve built your own pit - there’s a truth that’s been nagging at me for weeks now…
What if we stopped lying when people asked us how we were?
What if we just fessed up - what if we didn’t hide it and allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and open to what people may think - most particularly with our loved ones?
I don’t know the answer to that - I’m not very good at admitting the truth when I’m down - but I suspect - I hope - that it would make things better. One thing that I do know is that - aside from stopping the self harming behaviors and adopting healthier choices - it has always been the support of my loved ones that has got me through.
A song that reminds you that lying only creates more problems and that acknowledges those who stand by you when you’re down - well - that’s a song that’s well worth a listen.
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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As the founder of musicto I’m on a mission to inspire a global audience of music lovers and artists through the development of people powered playlists.
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Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As a creator / contributor at musicto I’m part of a global creator community that collaborates through music. You can learn more about our community here.