Does grief have to be depressing?
I know the widely misapplied Kübler-Ross model has Depression firmly locked in at stage four of five, but then she was talking about those receiving a terminal diagnosis - not those who’s partner just left them.
While death underpins many of the tracks on this playlist - heartbreak accounts for most of the rest - and it seems to my ears at least that lost love is way more melancholic than loss of life. I have some Pop-Pscyh theories on this…
There are two big difference between mourning the loss of life and the loss of love - when someone dies, first - they’re well and truly gone - removed from the planet - never to be seen again. There’s a finality about death that draws a line in the sand and forces you to cross it, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Secondly - unless you’re a murdering psychopath - it’s unlikely that you share responsibility for their death. And yes I know that people feel guilt - particularly with suicide and remorse for fractured relations while alive but - death is out of our hands - it’s something we can’t avoid and that we have to address and deal with.
But loss of love is different - in the first instance - the person leaving hasn’t left the planet - they’re still alive and capable of new behaviors and actions that can continue to cause grief. But I think the more dangerous one is the second point - with death you hold no personal responsibly but with a breakup - well - it’s kinda different isn’t it!
Breakups force you to look at yourself - to address the part of you that was responsible for the death of love - and yet - we’re not very good at doing that - we’d much rather do just about anything else - sometimes it feels like we’d much rather actually die.
And so we have Sink - a track that vividly paints the picture of a breakup - it’s a wonderfully depressing piece of music. If you know what it’s like to end the day with “Chin to Chest,” you’ll be able to climb inside and wallow in the self pity that always seems to accompany this stage of the process.
“Those tail lights
from a drizzly night
as you leave for your mothers house.
It felt like a little boat
had left its shore and I’m on land.
Chin to chest,
all days conclude.
Chin to chest,
and just regrets.
For I will row my boat
in no direction now.
For I don’t need no compass
I just need to sink
In the sea...
Ending a week
is like starting one,
For I see nothing ahead.
An empty flat and frozen food,
and those pictures of you.
Chin to chest,
All days conclude.
Chin to chest,
and just regrets.
For I will row my boat,
in no direction now.
For I don’t need no compass,
I just need to sink.
In the sea…
In the sea…”
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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
I’ve been fascinated by music ever since.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As the founder of musicto I’m on a mission to inspire a global audience of music lovers and artists through the development of people powered playlists.
Latest Posts
Don’t Give Up – Peter Gabriel
24 September 2022
What’s the point? You ever find yourself asking that? The point of this playlist is to bring succor to people who are grieving. That’s it. We listen to and feature songs that we hope people can resonate with and perhaps elicit a cathartic release – at the very least – to help them feel less alone…
Strange Beauty – First Aid Kit
18 September 2022
It’s still September. We’re still talking about Suicide. We’re doing this because the experts tell us that the more we talk about it – the more we bring it into the open – the less likely it is that people will go through with it. And yet – people still do…
Open Letter – Mr. Phelps
11 September 2022
Yep – if you didn’t know – September is Suicide Awareness Month – it’s also National Suicide Prevention Month and in fact right now – between the 8th and the 14th – it’s actually National Suicide Prevention Week. If you are in any doubt as to the impact suicide has on society – spend a minute here: Suicide Statistics – the rate inches up every year – and as a middle aged white male – well – I’m slap bang in the highest risk group…
Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As a creator / contributor at musicto I’m part of a global creator community that collaborates through music. You can learn more about our community here.